There are a few issues of gay orthodoxy and the general U.S. consensus that I dissent from, and it seems worthwhile mentioning those, if only to try to provoke some thought. I treat these with uncommon brevity, without pausing to answer every counter objection, just to give readers a taste of my thinking on the issues.
I continue to object to the use of the word “queer” to describe gay people. It reminds me of my youth, when “queer” was a saliva spitting term of contempt for gays, if not a prelude to violence. I don’t feel “queer” in any descriptive sense; I feel like a normal guy who likes other normal guys. I dislike these attempts to obsolesce terms of abuse: I notice that African-Americans have not adopted “darkie” and Jews have not adopted “kike”—and rightly so. For that matter, “queer” is nowadays too inclusive—embracing people who wish to distinguish themselves from the majority in their behavior, dress or other means. If you mean gay, use “gay.”
I have no quarrel with various sorts of transgender people, and I wish them well. But I cannot see any justifiable grounds for their inclusion in the gay movement or in the acronym GLBT. Transpeople have different issues from gays, and it is important to keep those distinctions in mind. Some transsexual and transgendered people are homosexual, and they are automatically part of our movement on that basis. But a number of others are heterosexual and I cannot see any reason why we include them. They are welcome to fight their own battles (if any) and not expect us to do it for them.
I am unable to generate any enthusiasm, or even interest, in contemporary popular culture—music, television, movies. To use an old Quaker expression, “It does not speak to my condition.” I am on a list-serve that includes some younger people. If something of real merit comes along, I assume they’ll bring it to everyone’s attention. But in general, I hope most popular culture is something young people will outgrow. There are a few hundred years of high quality music, art and many centuries of literature that are waiting to be explored. Anyone would be missing a great deal by failing to explore them.
I do not understand why men engaging in sex for money (“prostitution”) is illegal. I suspect that most commercial sex laws were instituted to prevent the exploitation of women. But I am unaware of any analogous cases of the exploitation of men. It seems to be a law that catches men in its purview as if by accident. When I was younger (and better looking) I occasionally accepted money for sex. It was a useful income supplement and harmed no one. When I have mentioned this to other gay men, quite a number have said, “Oh yeah, I’ve done that.” One man said he paid his way through graduate school that way.
Comments to PVarnell@aol.com.
For starters, the word “queer” may have meant something vile back in the day, some may still use it that way. But thinking in younger generations has changed, and the term “queer” is now something to identify as, whether you like it or not, Mr. Varnell. As for using “gay” when you mean “gay,” those of us, myself included, who identify as gay continue to use that term. Who are you to tell someone what they should identify as? Unless my history is very, very wrong (and I don’t think that it is), the word “gay” was once used as a synonym for happy, yet you seem to be just fine with identifying with that term. And you may not see African-Americans using the term “darkie” but there are other words that they have reclaimed, again, whether you like it or not.
As for your issue with the inclusion of our transgendered brothers and sisters being included in the discussion, I believe that your ideas are out-dated. Do you honestly believe that the GLBT community has made the strides that we have without the help of our straight allies? If so, you’re dead wrong. Likewise, our friends and family in the transgender community have helped us by adding their numbers to our cause. To ostracize them the way you have in your article is foolhardy at best.
Our community is one that can come together over a mutual issue, being different from the heteronormative ideas passed down to us by our society. Transgender people fall easily into that. Their gender identity, and in fact sexual identity, do not fall easily into heteronormative ideas. I think you need to educate yourself on the issues, sir, and when you have done so. When you have close, personal friends who have grown up feeling as if they were born into the wrong body, when you love someone who went through that hell, if you can say that you still feel the same way, at least you won’t be ignorant.
However, I do have one more thing to say: If we ignore the transgendered members of our community, what are we condemning them to? We all know how hard it is to gain acceptance and understanding from people who are apposed to us. And, as you have shown in this article, transgendered people have the same issue within the GLBT(etc.) community. You really think people who aren’t our allies, people who think we’re going to hell just for loving another man or woman, are going to find it any easier to understand and accept transgendered people? We need them, and they need us. They bolster our movement and we bolster theirs.
I hope you come around, Mr. Varnell, I really hope you do.